The Kendall Conspiracy

I was stunned to see the news roll across the bottom of the TV screen as I watched the MLB Network.  “Jason Kendall to undergo season ending surgery.  Out 8-10 months.”  I quickly fumbled for the remote, hit the skip back button for the DVR, and reread the message.  A few minutes of jubilation later, I started wondering what happened to the poor guy.  Torn rotator cuff.  Wow, when did that happen?  Sometime in early August is what it looks like.  And today is September 1?  It seems that our medical staff did another wonderful job of diagnosis such as they did on a few of our other guys.  It’s easy to pin this on the medical staff allowing Kendall to play for an entire month with a torn rotator cuff making us even worse than we are.  And it’d be easy to yell at Ned Yost for continuing to pencil him into the lineup.  And also easy to yell at Dayton Moore for signing Kendall to a horrible two year deal.

But then I started thinking.  Wait a minute.

This was brilliant work!  Work that was far beyond our scope of understanding as Royals fans as we watched our season turn putrid as we dropped from 10 games under .500 to 20 games under.  It seems as though our quest for 70 wins has been vanquished.  And Dayton Moore is a genius.

In only a way that he can do, Dayton allowed us to fall into the belief that the Process actually included Jason Kendall for next season.  But he allowed us to believe this because he too, once, believed it himself.  The problem quickly arose that Kendall would not be able to handle being a Kansas City Royal for two seasons.  And Dayton had to be wondering how in the world am I going to get out of this signing?  I just got rid of JoGui, I just got rid of Ankiel, I got rid of Pods, I got rid of Callaspo, and now my senior leader goes down and I’m stuck with him.

But here is what is happening.  Allow me to enlighten you.  Dayton actually realized his mistake, and rather than admit it publicly and save face, he just kept praising Kendall and brainwashed our Facebook fans into believing that it was a great signing.  But really, Dayton knows this is a terrible contract and wants to rip it to pieces.  So the Process takes a twist.  Dayton knows that Kendall’s body cannot hold up if he plays everyday so he makes him the everyday catcher.  And I mean everyday.  As Kendall grinds it out behind the plate in spectacular gritty form, he never gets hurt.  Time after time Ned and Dayton try to wear him down.  As Jason grinds it out, you must realize how nervous Dayton gets that maybe he did sign Superman.  The GRIT is huge but he has not gone down with an injury.  And then there is a crack in the armor.  You must play through it Ned tells Kendall when he asks for a day off.  You are our catcher.  You are the man!  And together, Ned and Dayton trick Kendall into playing through the injury on a daily basis to try to enhance it.  It’s almost a plot such as David involved Bathsheba and Uriah in.  Put him on the front lines, he’ll go down.  But just to be safe, the men behind the Process push for one full month after the complete tear.  Never will he play again in a Royals uniform they say.  But perhaps, he will coach.

I don’t really believe that this is what happened, but perhaps it is.  The world may never know and Dayton may really be, a genius.  Not only can they blame the season on injury once again, they have gotten rid of part of the problem without having to DFA anyone and save everyone’s ego.  Brilliant.


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